Rub It In? On? ...

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I am not a subject matter expert in chamois cream. Had lots of saddle issues, but I just never thought about using chamois cream. #dummy

The first time I ever did was a little over two years ago at the Gravel Slayer in Elk City. The wife and I were about 42 miles into our 50-mile gravel sojourn and seat-induced agony had set in. I'm not sure I had a blister, but I definitely was not feeling good about sitting the saddle. 

She handed me a little travel-size packet of chamois cream and the conversation went like this...

Me, standing there looking at it: "What do I do with this?"

Her: "Put it on?"

Me: "Where? Do I rub it on me, the shorts? I really don't think sticking my hand down there is in my best interests right now."

Her: EPIC EYEROLL.

Me: "But seriously ..."

Her: "Yes."

So there I am, standing next to a highway on a red dirt road sticking my hand down my lycra in a desperate attempt to stave off saddle-induced madness. Ooooh, tingly and cool.

Flash forward to about two, three weeks ago. We had almost the same conversation where she looked at me like I was a crazy person when I confessed I had not used it since Elk City.

Perhaps I should maybe reconsider my stance on chamois cream. Or I should actually have a stance on chamois cream. The longer the ride, the more ... moist everything gets, which increases the chances for irritation. There's a way to avoid saddle sores, possibly even hot spots, while you ride?

Don't be like me and not use the stuff.

So what I'm saying is ... I'm not the guy who should be writing about BlueRub. Fred, Jake and the rest of the crew believe in this stuff. If you don't know, consult the experts.

I have a couple long rides planned, so I'll load up on the BlueRub and then pop back with a field report. In the meantime, here's the official BlueRub marketing copy (because I know you guys looooove marketing copy):

CHAMOIS CREAM

Skin lubricant for cyclists, triathletes, and endurance athletes that suffer from chafing.  bluerub chamois cream is naturally derived and specially formulated for prolonged use. Our non-greasy formula prevents, soothes, and relieves chafing and saddle sores.

BODY & SKIN

bluerub is a naturally derived product and can be applied directly to chafing or to saddle sores.

WHEN TO APPLY

Apply prior to or after rides, hikes, or sporting events where skin is susceptible to irritation from rubbing.

WHERE TO APPLY (AH HA!)

Apply liberal amount directly to skin that is susceptible to irritation from rubbing. Can be applied to natural or synthetic chamois.

HOW TO CLEAN

Wash off with mild soap and water. Keep away from eyes.

How can you resist that? Amirite? Drop by, get your BlueRub on. 

... Wait. That didn't sound right.